5 Myths About Bisexuality Debunked

It’s time to get the facts straight.

Despite the significant social progress made for LGBTQ+ rights and acceptance, there are a lot of people out there who still just don’t get bisexuality.

Well, it’s 2018, folks, and I’m here to set the record straight. There are a lot of misconceptions out there about what it means to be bisexual — usually coming from people who aren’t — and it’s about time that someone fact-checked these myths.

“Being bisexual really just means you just can’t decide to be straight or gay.”

Nope — bisexuality isn’t a pit-stop on the way to becoming straight or gay. It has nothing to do with being indecisive or unsure of sexual preferences.

People tend to think of bisexuality as the “median” between heterosexuality and homosexuality, but it’s not. Bisexuality is its own sexuality.

This myth seems to stem from the idea that bisexuality isn’t real and that we’re all just confused gays — which definitely isn’t true. Just as homosexuality is exhibited in other species, so is bisexuality. See for yourself:

Scientists who have extensively studied the Bottlenose dolphin population in Shark Bay, Western Australia, have observed bisexual behaviour and evidence of a social heiraechy.

‘Apart from homosexual behavior, males, unlike females, in Shark Bay have also been recorded to perform synchronous displays,’ Ms Nicholson explained. — Yael Brender, Daily Mail Online, 8/2/17

Bisexuality is an actual orientation, not the result of confusion or indecisiveness.

“Bi people are 50/50 — half gay, and half straight.”

Like most things in life, bisexuality isn’t completely black-and-white. While there may be some bisexuals who share an equal preference for opposite and same-sex people, that’s rarely the case.

A lot of bi people tend to lean towards one more than the other. Some bisexuals may be most attracted to females, and only somewhat attracted to males. Others may have a preference for males, and may only occasionally be attracted to females. We’re all wired a little differently, and that’s okay. It doesn’t make you less bi if you’re more attracted to the opposite sex, nor does it make you more gay if you’re mostly into the same sex.

“Bisexuals are just in a phase and experimenting with something new.”

I often see this argument used against younger people who come out as bisexual. It really goes back to the fallacy about bi people just being indecisive, and unwilling to commit to being straight or gay.

People also tend to specifically target bi women with this myth, claiming that they’re just “having fun” until they find a nice man to settle down with. This is false. On the other hand, I’ve also seen people argue that bi men only date women as a precursor to eventually coming out as gay. Both of these assumptions are wrong.

Just because you didn’t discover your bisexuality till high school or college does not mean you’re just “in a phase”. While I do believe sexuality is fluid and may even change as we grow and develop, this doesn’t mean your identity as bisexual should be viewed as temporary. It’s not something you grow out of or leave behind, nor does it disappear if you decide to settle down with someone of the opposite sex.

As far as experimentation goes, just because you have a sexual encounter with someone of the same sex does not mean you’re automatically bi. Maybe you get a little drunk one night and make out with someone of the same sex. Maybe you kiss someone of the same sex just to try it. The point here is that people sexually experiment all the time, but people who identify as bisexual are of a specific sexual orientation.

You don’t need to doubt us — we promise we’re serious.

“You need to have sexual experiences with men and women before you know if you’re bi.”

While many people discover their sexuality as the result of sexual experimentation, this isn’t a requirement. Like any sexuality, people sometimes just know.

Personally, I knew I was bisexual before I had any real sexual experiences to draw from. Everyone is different — you may not even realize your bisexuality till you’ve had two heterosexual marriages and three kids. It doesn’t make you any less valid.

In a society where bisexual people already feel out of place, I see no reason why we need to gatekeep ourselves.

“Bi people aren’t monogamous.”

Just because you like multiple genders doesn’t mean you can’t commit to a single person. Bisexuality does not equal polyamory, and bi people in relationships don’t get “bored” and decide to cheat with another gender. This seems to originate from the stereotype about bisexual people being promiscuous or greedy, but once again — not true.

If a bisexual partner cheats, it has to do with them being a trashy person — not their sexual orientation. It’s definitely possible for bisexual people to also be polyamorous, but it’s not a requirement. One doesn’t automatically come with the other.

All sexualities have stigmas and myths attached to them, but I believe that by continually debunking these myths, we can raise awareness about what’s true, and even learn something about each other along the way.

When I’m not writing, you can usually find me hanging out with my cats. pricelindy@gmail.com

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store